Today was rough. I think my toddler has entered the “terrible twos” phase. She’s only 19 months old. Plus I had some work that needed to be submitted and my older kids were gone, so I was left to fend for myself. I texted my husband several times to complain since I had no one else to vent to. Then I listened to my toddler cry for 30 minutes because nap time is truly the worst thing that can happen to her. After being tortured by her bloody screams, I scooped out a ridiculously large serving of ice cream and stuffed my face. I had hit my breaking point and I needed to drown my sorrows. Sound familiar?
Motherhood can be tough and lonely. There are days when I’m an emotional mess because I feel like I have no one that can relate to my struggle. I thought I had this mom thing figured out. Keep them clean, fed, educated, loved on, and somewhat happy. Then my baby girl was born and flipped my mommy world upside down. She’s the most loving toddler I know, but she can also terrorize a small village in the blink of an eye.
To say that I am overwhelmed at times would be an understatement. There are days that I just want hide in a closet with a tub of ice cream and eat my sorrows away. However, I know these tough days won’t last forever. I know the thought doesn’t make it any easier to handle, but it does help me cherish this season in my life and view it differently.
I know that some of us are longing for alone time with our husbands or a small break to read a book uninterrupted. Some of us would be happy just to take a shower without little ones barging in. For those of you that can relate to this, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We all struggle, and we all have days that we feel like we failed. But most importantly, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mom. It simply means that you’re human.
This journey can be very lonely. There are some moms that appear to have it all together. Pictures of perfect looking homes with kids that look like they belong in a GAP kids ad. A facade that’s put up for family and friends. I don’t think it’s to make anyone else feel bad. I truly think it’s so they can keep up with every other mom doing the same thing.
I’ll be honest, I’ve been guilty of doing this myself. Sharing only photos that will shed the best light on me and my family. Not because I want to pretend that I’m perfect, but because I don’t want others to judge me for my shortcomings. But what if we finally stopped sharing the perfectly staged photos and opted to share the nitty gritty of motherhood with each other? You know the ones with the toys sprinkled all over the floor and the sticky smiles on our children’s faces. Wouldn’t the pressure to keep up with appearances be lifted?
I believe that it would. I know that it’s easier said than done because we don’t want to let our guard down. What would others think of me? I’m sure these thoughts are on the back of your mind. The point of this post is not to push you to do these things, but to help you understand that we are our own worst critic. We base our standards on what we see on social media or Pinterest and then we come down on ourselves when we can’t keep up.
One of your most important roles is to be a mom. There will be days when laundry will sit and dishes will pile up because your little one wants your undivided attention. Cherish these precious moments that will be gone too soon. Time is something that you can never get back. I wish I had made different decisions in the past. I’ll be sending my oldest to college in a couple of years and all I can think about is how quickly time passed us by.
Don’t dwell on the things that are pending on your to-do list. Everyday will brings its own set of new tasks and chores. However, the memories that you can create with your child each day will last a lifetime.
There’s nothing more precious than the beautiful blessings that God has given you. One day you’ll have the chance to read that book in peace, travel kid-free and even take naps for leisure. But for now enjoy what you have been given and be thankful for being trusted with the hardest (and most rewarding) job you’ll ever have. Trust me, all the tears and sleepless nights will be worth it.